I made some decisions in the Easter holidays and said I’d see where I’d got to at half term, which is virtually over. These were:
- go and sit in the sun while it’s there;
I have enjoyed the sun more. I have not sat inside staring at it thinking that I must finish work before going outside. I’m being more aware of choosing to spend time in the sun.
- think more about what I want to say in advance in my counselling sessions so I can start quickly;
I have made effort to at least have a starting point in my sessions. I have got to a stage where I really struggle to say what I need to, but I’m beginning with thoughts in my head that enable me to at least start talking about something rather than floundering at the start.
- keep work to schooltime;
I have quite a few evening meetings that are unavoidable and I’ve had deadlines that have necessitated me working in the evenings. Other than that though, I have not worked after school run in the afternoon and have not tried at the weekend. I’m quite surprised at how easy I did find this and how little guilt I felt at leaving things over the weekend to deal with the following week.
I have slightly counter-balanced this by spending Friday afternoon organising my work for the next week and sorting myself out so that I don’t spend Monday mornings mapping out my week.
- write my posts more frequently and earlier on in the evening so they don’t invade my sleep;
I don’t think I’ve written any more frequently although I have been thinking about posts more, even if I’m not writing them down. I have in fact been writing fewer, now that I’ve looked at the dates of posting. I think I am struggling, as I am in my counselling sessions, to say what I need to say rather than what is easy to say. I want to push myself more but maybe I’m not there yet. I also tend to write these in short bursts: two or three posts very close together and then a gap.
As to sleep, well I’m trying not to worry about it too much and just accept that I will be tired during the week and to carry on regardless. Also that if I want an afternoon nap I can have one; just twenty minutes does help. I do mostly catch up on sleep at the weekends but some nights I just can’t get to sleep and survive on five hours and coffee. We started to discuss at our last session what this tiredness was really about and whether it was masking something; a thought I need to explore.
- go back to Intuitive Eating and other guidance
I have started on Intuitive Eating and Health At Every Size. I’ve read more of the latter that I haven’t yet written about and I have been thinking about it quite a bit, especially in terms of public attitudes and perceptions around weight and also what small changes I can make in the way I eat that will help me on my way. I think this needs to be my focus at the moment, if for no other reason that I’m running out of clothes that fit yet again.