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I appreciate most about myself, what exactly? My mind went blank when I first read this. What I appreciate most is that which makes me me. The choices I make that I know are mine: the books I choose to read and love, the music I enjoy most, the thoughts that are about what I think. I really hadn’t realised until recently how much this sort of freedom was lacking and how much I enjoy doing what I want, when I want it.

I am most confident about my organisational and administrative capability. I am logical and can be boring but that also means that I am ordered and don’t miss out steps. That just sounds so incredibly boring. But I get things done. I am not really happy that this is what springs to mind that I have confidence in to be frank. But I project manage, whether it’s at work or home and I don’t let things slide and that makes me very self-sufficient and independent.

I suppose I am also confident in my compassion, that I try to consider other people’s perspective and how they might be affected. It’s something I never saw in my father (he kicked dogs if they got near him) and had to work out forbmyself.

What is the first positive memory I have of myself? Early memories include a false one of me putting spoonfuls of sugar into bottles of home made beer; falling off the swing quite hard once, losing a red bag that I cried over; being scared to go upstairs on my own; falling off the edge of the bath and scaring my grandmother; sitting on the back step in the garden looking at the ants in the year of the drought (1976). Six years in that house and I struggle to think of a happy memory. I remember playing quietly by myself behind the sofa.

When I was five or six, my parents went out to their first posh dinner. I had no understanding of what it all meant but they were both quite excited about going to Mansion House to have dinner, along with a few hundred other people, with the Lord Mayor of London. I knew it was different from their normal evenings out because of the atmosphere of excitement and the care they took to dress.

I wanted to take part in this big adventure and so I did the only thing I could think of. I made a card for the Lord Mayor, saying something along the lines of “I hope you have a good evening” and I gave it to my father to deliver. But I did put it in an envelope and seal it and it shows a certain amount of trust that my father did deliver it. He said he’d given it to the Lord Mayor who was appreciative.

A few days later I received in the post a beautiful white envelope with the Lord Mayor’s emblem embossed in red on the back. Inside was a lovely letter along with a postcard signed and sealed by the Lord Mayor, with a little picture of a robin he’d drawn as it was his first name. If it wasn’t for the fact that it’s in the attic, I would show it to you.

I treasured that letter. I didn’t understand what his role was, and now that I do I wish it abolished, but I understood than an important person had taken the time to write little me a personal note, not just one dictated to a secretary. It made me feel that someone had appreciated what I had done and taken the time and trouble to craft a response. Maybe that care is what I responded to but it is my oldest keepsake.

Beautiful You by Rosie Molinary

Beautiful You by Rosie Molinary

Beautiful You, by Rosie Molinary is available at Amazon (click on the picture) and her website is Rosie Molinary