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Last week I met with 2son’s therapist and consultant psychiatrist. The consultant had consulted with various colleagues as well as social services and decided that section 2 of the Mental Health Act was the way to go.

This allows him to be taken, against his will, into hospital for a maximum of 28 days for assessment. He will be going into a well-known private hospital and I’m going there tomorrow to have a look.

I’ve talked to 2son about it and he hasn’t really expressed a view. I think it all sounds a bit remote to him. He may co-operate. He may not. The hospital would clean him up which would be a good thing, if not the main issue. They will encourage him to talk and I would hope he would get so bored that he does. But it is a huge gamble.

Removing him out of his home, considering he hasn’t gone past the front door since October is going to be a shock for him. If it was an adult being sectioned they would send round a couple of policemen. As it is we’re not quite sure who will effect his physical removal. Again of course he may co-operate or he may go kicking and screaming.

The thought of all this scares me. Will he ever forgive me? Will it work? What happens if he still doesn’t talk? Tomorrow I will find out about visiting and what will happen while he is in hospital. It’s a few stops away on the train line and a short walk so it’s hopefully not too bad.

On the practical front I will spend much of those 28 days, or portion thereof, cleaning and nit-combing everybody so we get rid of these blasted things once and for all. We did have a big clean up of the boys’ room just before the Easter holidays so that task is not quite as major as it could have been.

I’m struggling to cope with all this, just to state the obvious. 3son is really fed up of 2son and is being a total pain in the arse, arguing non-stop, making 4son cry and then accusing me of preferring 4son over him. 4son is still unhappy at school with his teacher and unhappy at home with 3son. They both need something to be done for their sanity. It even crossed my mind that if I’m not allowed / don’t have to visit 2son every day, then I could take a short break with 3son and 4son and have a few days holiday.

This just looms over me. I’m thinking about it all even when I’m not thinking about it. I’m terrified about what could happen and I’m trying not to hope too much in case I’m disappointed. This could be a fruitful next step, but even if it does work and breaks 2son’s silence the road to recovery is going to be a long slow one.

So I haven’t had the energy to write. I’ve been spending too much time mindlessly playing stupid games on Facebook which I was actually thinking of giving up. This Easter holiday I’ve indulged myself in a 3000 piece jigsaw which I bought years ago and never found the couple of weeks needed to do it.

I need to try and write here again and keep it up as it does help my sanity. I’ve almost completed by third month of exercise programme although that too has slipped in the holidays but I’m holding onto that. We’ve eaten a fair amount of junk food this holiday which won’t kill anyone and after ten days I’ve just about caught up on my sleep. I’m  getting more headaches, sleeping worse and once or twice have over-indulged in alcohol, forgetting that my anti-depressants really don’t like that and punish me the next day.

I’m thankful to my friends who give me fun times without needing to dwell on my life, but who listen when I talk about it all. I’m thankful for BFF1 who is going to try and come with me tomorrow despite her own disastrous holiday. I’m thankful to BFF2 for listening and being supportive while having his own crap to deal with. I’m thankful to you all for reading and offering me support. I have been reading many of your posts but I just can’t find the energy to construct sentences in support.