I was expecting a call this morning from hospital confirming 2son’s visit to CATE this week. I assumed that we were going to repeat last week’s mid-week visit. It hadn’t been perfect but at least we’d got him to school one day.

I decided to be pro-active and ring up and ask. Someone would get back to me within 15 minutes I was told.

Several hours later someone did phone, not someone I’d spoken to before or whose voice I recognised. I felt like saying we were obviously not going to school today as it was a bit late.

I could pick him up on Friday, take him to CATE and then home for the weekend. No I couldn’t, I replied. I’m out on Friday. He tells me that he’s spent all day arranging these plans and consulting with professionals and staff. I point out that he didn’t consult with me and that I needed time to make arrangements too. I was expecting another midweek. He told me that 2son couldn’t stay two weekends at the hospital in a row (first I’ve heard of it) and if I’d made plans I could let him stay with friends (!) Home visits are part of the discharge plan and I must comply. He was making progress at hospital, was washing himself and interacting with others so could be discharged. I felt harangued.

“Take him to CATE or we’ll discharge him.”


“He’s not on any medication so he’s not mentally ill”.

He said he’d let me think it over and would call me back in an hour.

I hung up the phone and burst into angry tears.

I phoned CAMHS. No one there I could talk to. First hing tomorrow morning said the receptionist after I explained. I phoned CATE who will hopefully get back to me this afternoon.

This is the first holiday I’ve booked since last October. I don’t want to cancel it (no refund) and I need it. I need a break, a change of scenery. I can’t cancel it.

I’ve already had one total and utter disaster this week, which I was writing up when the phone rang. I’ve got to wait and hope CAMHS can sort it out. I can’t stop crying. Or shaking. I really do hate my life sometimes.