I feel as if I’m repeating myself like a stuck worn out record. Life is easier than it used to be but it still feels tough.
It’s as if my body is falling to pieces. My back still hurts, although a lot less. I haven’t kept up on the Wii although I have been doing my back exercises. My teeth hurt. I counted them the other day and I’m down to 19, with two of them getting increasingly loose and a gum infection as well. I have crunchy knees, or crepitus. I asked my doctor and she said if it’s not causing discomfort then don’t worry so I’m trying not to but it’s weird hearing your bones as you move.
Since starting on Vitamin D supplements I have felt more alert. My doctor said no to calcium supplements as they cause too many side effects. I still feel in the morning as if I’m chucking down a cocktail of drugs.
I am making more time in the day to do things other than work and that is great progress. I just can’t be bothered to do any of them. Motivation is what I’m currently lacking, rather than energy.
My doctor will try and get me on mindfulness CBT but in order to get it, she wants me to write a personal statement of my history of therapy and what I would like to get out of it. I was much reassured that mindfulness had been approved by NICE as a treatment for depression which enhances my chances of getting it on the NHS but I still have to prove I merit it.
All I have to do now is to summon the motivation to write it.