candleSo I’ve managed it: one whole week of meditation.

I am following the Australian Meditation Society‘s free programme. You can download it off the website or download the app.

There’s introductory text followed by a guided audio meditation. The recommendation is to follow each meditation for a week and I have managed that with the first class. Go me!

I’ve just about stopped feeling idiotic about doing it which in itself is progress. I’ve been doing it first thing in the morning in between getting 3son and 4son up for school.

It feels something like having a mental quick shower before getting up; it refreshes and cleanses in a good way to start the day. I appreciate that.

I notice how bloody hard it is. This week I’ve been using a candle. My mind goes off on tangents and meta-tangents and needs constantly reigning in.

Since I’ve started to think about mindfulness I realised that one of hardest changes to achieve is to focus on one task at a time. To take away all that practised ability to multi-task and focus on one thing, to finish an item without thinking about six other things at the same time. Multi-tasking is praised as being a useful life and work skill. Focusing isn’t.

There comes a fleeting feeling of calmness and serenity. It’s as if everything, including my brain just pauses. Only for a split second but it’s a beautiful moment of peace when it happens and the effects seems to last way beyond the feeling.

It’s been a good week. I faded out Thursday afternoon and had a quick nap. I cancelled going out Friday and Saturday evening and on Saturday I went to bed at half five and slept through until 8 the next morning. I woke up in time to put the children to bed and tossed and turned a bit but did feel refreshed. I also felt cross as although I had been out in the evenings I hadn’t stayed out as late as I could have. I need to change my night time routine as I’ve got in the habit of playing one game of Solitaire (patience) before sleep and it can sometimes take me an hour to get a deal out. Switching off is something else I find hard.

I’ve got back on the Wii again, managed 3 lots of exercise last week. It’s better than none and, as usual, I’m trying to just do and enjoy it, without worrying about how much I should or shouldn’t be doing.

I’ve also managed to go through my entire wardrobe, bag up everything that doesn’t fit and sling it in the attic. It’s taken two weekends and I was surprised that I didn’t feel as emotionally devastated as I thought I would by all the clothes I can’t fit in. I even found some I didn’t know fitted. So that’s a practical and personal achievement.

Lots of bits and bobs then. Mostly positive. Let’s see what this week brings, apart from snow.