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Last Monday I eventually got the phone call from the social worker. 2son has funding for 38 weeks (i.e. term time) and for this Summer holidays. The social worker was worried that I was going to get cross with him for not getting 52 week funding but I didn’t. I think I expected it really.

The panel noted my comments and were not adverse to us coming back to ask for more funding if things didn’t work out during the holiday. We shall have to see. This means that he can stay where he is though until he’s 19 which is a huge relief.

I’m concerned about how he’s going to be at home but we’ll have half terms and Christmas to see what his behaviour is like and how long it then takes him to get used to being back at school again.

I wish I felt more relieved. I was so stressed out in the few days preceding the decision. As it is I feel a mess. I’ve tried looking at holidays as this may be our one chance but I just can’t make a decision. I can’t even decide not to book a holiday and just stay at home. I can’t persuade the other two to go away without me. I’m feeling blank. I don’t really want to do any work although I’m only doing the bare necessities and I come close to panic thinking about the things I do need to get done.

I woke up this morning with school uniform on my mind, what with 4son starting secondary school this September. It’s not that big a deal but I almost leapt out of bed to get on with it. I needed stern words to tell me it wasn’t necessary.

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