I had to go to an event today for work reasons that was outside of my comfort zone.
I haven’t done this for so long that I’d forgotten what it felt like. And it didn’t feel nice. I spend so much time being with people I enjoy being with, whether for work or for pleasure, that I had genuinely forgotten how uncomfortable I feel when I deal with people I don’t want to.
I talked to people I wanted to talk to, ignored several whom I didn’t and got ignored by several in return. I talked to a few people I hadn’t met yet and made good contact, although didn’t talk to lots of others might have been. I didn’t like the event or want to be there and couldn’t get past that to use it for my benefit.
I simply don’t like selling myself or what I do. Which is really not good for someone who is self-employed and relies on people wanting to buy in to what I can do. I get very embarrassed when a colleague over sells me, rather than just being pleased that she wished to promote me.
I’ve come home feeling angry with myself for wasting the opportunity. I have cocooned myself so well that I’ve forgotten that I need to keep pushing my boundaries out so that I get used to doing things I’m not inclined to do.