Despite barely venturing out last week, I managed to at least get Christmas put away and the house tidied in preparation for peace and quiet this week. 3son and 4son went back to school on Monday. 2son is still up in bed asleep.
The taxi was booked as usual for 10am. It arrived at 8:30am and I told the driver to go away and come back. A good start to the day, I thought. 9am came and 2son was still fast asleep, not reacting to my voice or to gentle prodding. So I phoned up the transport service and asked them to re-arrange for midday. They did that. I tried to ignore 2son for an hour which didn’t work and then re-arranged for 4pm as he slept on. Now, at 1pm I’m still waiting for him to wake up.I can’t get hold of his social worker (number 5 for 2014, the one and only for 2015) who may not have returned to work. I can’t even get clarity on her work landline number. So I’ve left a message on her mobile, not knowing whether it’s on or not. I may have to tackle a duty social worker, but what will that achieve?
I have spoken to 2son’s tutor, who rang to find out how the holidays went. He’s worried; I’m worried; yay, we agree. Other than that, what to do next?
I suspect 2son needs backing into a corner. When invited to co-operate nicely, he does if he’s in the mood and otherwise simply refuses, often by refusing to wake up. We only once forced his hand and that was when he was sectioned.
In essence he gave in to the whole procedure, accepting that he had no choice in the matter and it was going to happen.
This needs to happen again. But then it was about getting him to go to hospital, a single step. Now it’s more difficult as there is no single step he needs to take. It’s about getting up in the morning and deciding to take part in life. He’s fine in education when he gets there. That’s not the issue; it never has been. His problem has always been a reluctance to face life, a desire to not grow up and face the perceived (and real) trials of adulthood. A not growing up that starts with not waking up.
He’s always refused talking therapies, at any level. When he was sectioned he had to attend group therapy which he did, although without participating. He repeats his behaviour at school. He did, towards the end of last term have someone he knew come and talk to him, to try and gain some understanding but it’s not enough. If there was a total immersion form of therapy I would want it.
In essence he needs to give in to the whole procedure of growing up, accepting that he cannot avoid it and it is going to happen anyway. Maybe he needs his life laying out for him.