As far as 2son goes, he is doing remarkably well. After forcing him back to school in June he has settled back in and the three months consistency there has led him to progress. He’s got a girlfriend – he said that my abandoning him back there led him to feel he had nothing to lose by trying to move the friendship on to the next stage. She’s at a different site so he’s start using the bus to travel independently which is the first time in a couple of years.
It took a great deal of effort to get funding to cover him over the summer holidays and now we’re repeating it all over again for half terms. At the last LAC review the school staff were adamant that he needs routine and stability and with that they could inch their way forward. They also said that he stood a better chance of actually taking his GCSEs if he knew he could stay at school afterwards, thinking that he’s worried that funding might be perversely cut if he does well. So we asked for the funding panel to discuss 52 week funding and funding over the next 3 years. No to both was the answer.
We now have a week left until half term and I don’t know if he’s returning to us or not. The social worker did phone up and say they would put some sort of activity in place for part of the half term. I said his best interests lay in staying at school and that was pretty much it.
3son is stressing me out almost as much as the council is. His attendance is now down to 73% just for this half term which is worrying to say the least. He was referred to CAMHS last year and after six months we got a letter saying he’d been put on the waiting list. He had some counselling last term which seemed to do some good although he was very non-committal about it. His counsellor also said he would refer 3son to CAMHS in the school’s borough which would be faster and I’m now trying to confirm this was done.
We’ve just had 4 days without 3son at home due to a school trip and 4son and I have been amazed at the difference. 3son is always angry, frustrated, moaning, aggressive in some combination and it puts a total strain on the rest of us. In these last few days I have worked harder, done more housework, had a day out, put up pictures that have been waiting for a couple of years and have barely sat down or felt tired. It’s been amazing.
Now he’s returned and not gone to school this morning and I’m struggling to stay awake. We did go and see the GP a few weeks ago and she will prod CAMHS to hurry up but they are struggling with lack of funding and haven’t got the staff.
I don’t know what the answer is. School have to refer him to Education Welfare as he hasn’t got a diagnosis so I’m being threatened with the prospect of court proceedings. I’ve asked for help but there’s none on offer. He’s driving me mad and I’m feeling sorry for him at the same time. I’m going to crack down on bedtime as that’s about the only area I feel I can make a difference in. But I struggle to find the energy to do that.