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… and for the first time ever, I genuinely (99%) don’t care.

Several people over the last month or two have said:-

You’re looking good. Have you lost weight?

I’ll ignore the one who suggested I must have found a man in order to look good.

My response was automatic and their faces were pictures:-

I don’t know.

You could see thoughts running through their minds: how could I not know; I was fat so surely I weighed myself; I didn’t say thank you for such a lovely compliment, etc.

I don’t know if I’ve lost weight. I do know that I have a new wardrobe (courtesy of my therapist who recommended Marisota with lots of vibrant fabrics). I have been changing my hairstyle gradually over the last year, edging closer and closer to what I want.

I’ve also felt more grounded. I feel slightly more relaxed about everything. I came off my anti-depressants after Christmas without any problems.

All of these things make me stand a little taller and maybe it’s noticeable.

What also really impressed me was that my inner voice didn’t get excited wondering whether I’d lost weight. I didn’t rush to get myself weighed. I just felt sorry for them thinking looking good was linked to size. And I felt proud of myself.

There is nothing wrong with just saying

You’re looking fabulous today.

Full stop. End of. No need to justify it.

I would also like to thank Ragen Chastain of Dances With Fat for her continual posts on the subject. Here’s one on New Year’s Resolutions (and no, I’m not making any of them either).

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