We didn’t have triads this time and I felt miffed. I wanted it. I was ready to carry on from the week before. But we didn’t and we’re finished. If we’d realised that our previous sessions was going to be the last one of the course we might have handled it differently.
We spent half an hour talking about endings and then mucked about checking our portfolio which felt like a bit of a waste of time although we did put it to good using by arranging our first post course meet up in July.
I seemed to feel better about endings than most people, or at least the ones who verbalised their feelings. I sat there considering the amount of endings I’d had over my life and how many of them were through choice. Every house move was an ending as well as a beginning, let alone schools and later jobs. I have learned to say goodbye to people and accept that we will drift apart and may never renew contact. Social media, especially Facebook is bad for this as you can stay in contact without ever having to make an effort so you don’t quite lose people you would otherwise and you keep people ticking over without making the effort to actually see them.
I feel quite accepting of the fact the we move on and let go. I try and be better at keeping up contact with people but I tend to do it with the very few rather than the larger pool of not-very-close-but-quite-nice-friends who I should try and keep up with as some of them may become closer friends. However for me it is enough to keep up with the quality few.
Endings are a two-sided coin. There is a sense of achievement at having completed, with a sense of relief at getting that time back. There is also excitement about moving on to the next stage and the next stage couldn’t happen without the initial ending. There is much low level trepidation about starting all over again with a mostly new bunch. There is absolute recognition that the ending is necessary to enable the new beginning and that it’s all part of progress through life.
So yes, it will be sad to see this year’s course finish but most of us will continue, either with person-centred or integrative diploma and that will give us motivation to catch up.
We said good-bye to one person who will miss the very last session and I really enjoyed having a few drinks afterwards and getting to know her much better. She is someone I struggled with a bit on occasion and was really glad to get closer.
In PD we are having a show and tell for the final two sessions when we talk about something that represents us. I have in mind to quote my son’s poem that references myself. I did consider a whole one but decided I’m not up to it and it might be too long. Other people’s were really interesting. One person talked about a piece of jewellery that belonged to her grandmother and how important it was to have that to represent their relationship and I couldn’t but think of my grandmother with my sister ending up with the house and contents. Also I did have her necklace but suspect that ex2 nicked it. Another talked about her journal that she has kept for over a dozen years where she writes for ten minutes each and every night and includes tickets and tokens to act as reminders. She flicked through hers and read out extremely short extracts. I didn’t mention this blog although thought about the comparison. I wonder whether writing on a daily basis is something I could do if I were to keep it short and whether I would want to.
So there we were, a part ending, to be finished off this week. A time when also 3son takes his only exams and 4son finished all his GCSE exams which are big endings and bigger beginnings.