I have done 11/13ths of my essay, due in on Thursday. I have come to a conclusion, other that I still hate essays. School holidays are my downtime, when the alarm is switched off and I get up to my own beat. Work lessens as people are on holiday or not really trying very hard and it’s often an opportunity for me, if not to get away, at least to simply spend less time in front of the computer and thinking that I must get on with stuff.
I didn’t get my essay done before the half term, which was the plan. Something came up that was more important as something often does. I really resent having to do these assignments during the holidays. That was my big conclusion. Our next one happens over the Easter holidays with no way of doing it first. It’s a clear pattern, but not one that I like as it doesn’t suit me. My holidays are a little bit of space when I have time for me and I don’t like giving it up.
Anyway, back to school with a horrendous week up ahead. 2son came home on Friday and we had a few days with 2son so all 4 boys together. Four of us placed a new board game – Scythe. It said the gameplay was 115 minutes which is awfully precise. Why not say 2 hours? Anyway we debated the fact that we’d add on an hour for not knowing the rules and then add on a couple of hours for the amount of arguing and poking fun at each other. That was about right. We started around 7pm on Friday and finished around 4pm on Saturday. Great game that took us a few hours to get the hang of and we really enjoyed its complexity and the fact that you didn’t have to go to war and double cross other players (as in Game of Thrones). I do worry about 3son losing out by not participating in these activities but whatever we do, someone always doesn’t join in.
It really reminded me how much I enjoyed spending time with my boys. When I go to therapy or discuss them on my counselling course I often focus on the negatives or on all the stuff I have to do for them. Even on here, when writing. The truth is though, although two of them have major challenges to get through in life, that’s only part of who they are. 1son is about to go off to Italy and have a go at life there. Good luck to him and congratulations to him for wanting to do something different. 2son may be autistic, with lots of emotional and behavioural difficulties, but he’s also one of the most intelligent people I know and he makes me laugh. 3son is in a world of his own and severely struggling with depression, to the point where he struggles to get his prescription renewed and is probably about to drop another A level leaving him 1 and and EPQ. 4son’s greatest burden is living with his brothers but he has got through whatever that did to him. He has given up coming to football since December but we’re aiming for mid table mediocrity with nothing to play for and it really isn’t exciting.
They all make me laugh. They all make me think. I love it when we just sit down and talk whatever we talk about, whether it’s deep and meaningful or complete and utter nonsense (more likely). They are good companions and it’s part of the reason I feel less of a need to go out in the evening to escape. I’m almost a stranger in my local.
Having said all that, this week is going to be a ‘mare. I have to fix the car, take 2son to his first interview for Universal Credit, sort out 3son and his missing prescription, have my therapy, have my second appointment for ASD assessment, finish my sodding essay and go out and have fun five nights in a row. Busy.