Part of my progress this year has been a change in accepting that I am actually very proud of my children. They will never fit in to societal norms but they are all capable of thinking for themselves and making their own minds up. Despite their difficulties I think they will all turn out all right in the end. Acknowledging this, and that I have had some part to play in this has been really difficult but over the last six months I seem to have really started to accept that I am actually quite a good mother. But it’s still hard to write. There’s a little voice telling me that I’m being arrogant and I’m doing my best to squash it.
When I started on this journey of person-centred therapy I didn’t realise how much it would tell me about my parenting approach. I have been considering this over the last year and am going to try to put it into words.
Parenting is handing over responsibility for thoughts and behaviour to your child along with the tools and wisdom to enable them to make their own decisions independently.
Parents have to let go, learning to trust their child’s own ability to make their own decisions and their own mistakes, whilst making it clear that they love their child regardless of whether they agree with those choices or not.